


Grade A Booty

by StarsAreMassive



Series: Gallavich tumblr prompts [3]
Category: Shameless (US)
Genre: Gen, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-28
Updated: 2020-03-28
Packaged: 2021-03-01 01:14:40
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,084
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23366785
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/StarsAreMassive/pseuds/StarsAreMassive
Summary: Kev had struck out with one gay man on the Southside. Now it was time for round 2.Or, Kev worries about getting old and reaches out to the wrong person to prove he was still attractive.
Relationships: Ian Gallagher/Mickey Milkovich, Kev Ball & Mickey Milkovich
Series: Gallavich tumblr prompts [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1655677
Comments: 5
Kudos: 219





	Grade A Booty

**Author's Note:**

> From a tumblr prompt I received:
> 
> Hey I was wondering if you were still taking prompts. I had this one for a while. Do you remember the scene where kev asked Ian if he was attracted to him, well I’m wondering how that would play out with Mickey and Mickey just being super snarky about not finding kev attractive. Kev is just offending and doesn’t understand how the gay guys he knows don’t find him attractive. Thank you!

Mickey knew when he was being watched. Milkoviches were born with it - an innate ability to know when some fucker was watching too closely. It was trained and beaten into you your whole life, especially under the thumb of Terry Milkovich who didn’t care if you were only seven years old, you didn’t see that cop coming down the street in time and now Uncle Ronnie had to do six monhs inside and _“Boy, you don’t even know what’s coming for you. Get your ass over here.”_

But those days were over. Mickey walked the line now and Terry wasn’t the same spectre he was before. And to be honest, sittin’ drinking a beer in the Alibi on his day off, there was only one motherfucker stupid enough to stare him out like it was nothin’.

“I swear to god Kev, if y’don’t stop staring at me, I’ll pluck your eyeballs outta your head with one of those little fuckin’ umbrella’s.”

Kev fumbled with the glass he was drying and Kermit and Tommy snorted into their drinks.

“What - I wasn’t,” Kev looked away from Mickey so quick, he was surprised he didn’t get whiplash. “Get over yourself man. You’re the gay guy here, not me.”

Mickey quirked a brow at him and stared him down as he took a steady sip of his beer. For being a bar owner on the Southside, Kev had the least hustle of any guy he’d ever known in his life. Part of that was because you could read the seven-foot marshmallow like a goddamn book. Mickey watched him now and the tick at the side of his jaw told him Kev was dying to say something. The way he planted his feet told Mickey he was bracing himself for something. The way he angled his body slightly towards Mickey’s seat, told him they needed to get this whole song an dance over with already.

“Jesus Christ. _What?_ ”

“So, taking about the gay thing,” Kev dropped any pretenses altogether and jogged over to stand in front of Mickey. “You’ve been gay for a while now, right?”

Mickey shook his head. “Yeah. Sure. Why not.”

“So like, what kinda guys do you think are cute?”

Kermit, Tommy, and Mickey all stared at Kev. The three of them had heard him come out with some rather incredible shit, but this just about took the cake.

“Sorry, did I walk into a fuckin’ sleepover or somethin’? You wanna talk about _boys?_ Is that before or after we paint each others nails? Holy shit.”

Kev rolled his eyes and Tommy and Kermit sniggered into their drinks. “Not like that man,” he said. “I just wanna know if I’m hot.”

“No.”

“Fuck you, Mickey!” Kev shouted over Kermit and Tommy’s jeers. “I’m serious. This is like, a mid-life crisis or something. I’m askin’ as a friend. If you weren’t with Ian, you’d wanna bone me, right?”

“Not a fuckin’ chance.”

Kev threw up his hands and sulked, stalking off to refill Tommy’s beer.

“Consider yourself lucky, Mickey,” Tommy said. “We’ve been dealing with this shit for months now. This asshole is desperate to prove he’s still got it.”

Kermit chimed in. “He even danced at Daddy’s Night at the Fairy Tale. Bombed like the Hindenburg.”

Mickey just about fell off his seat. His eyes lit up like a kid on Christmas morning. “No fuckin’ way. Seriously?!”

“Oh yeah. Had a fake moustache and everything.”

“When?” Mickey asked. “How long ago?”

Tommy gave him an odd look. “Why are you so interested?”

“Because I wanna know if that cum hole will still have the footage if I break in.”

“Aha!” Kev yelled victoriously. “Because you wanna see it for yourself and rub one out!”

“No. Because I’m pretty sure that shit could cure depression and I’d make a mint.”

Kev whipped his towel at Mickey’s head and Mickey batted him away.

“It gets better,” Kermit piped up from his end of the bar. “They wouldn’t even let him dance the next night for free.”

“That’s what this is about?” Mickey asked through his laughter. “Because no one wants your old ass?”

“Old?!” Kev lifted the hem of his shirt and turn his back to Mickey. “Look at this ass, Mickey. That right there is Grade A booty. You’re telling me you wouldn’t wanna tap an ass like that?”

Tommy cut him off. “Other way around, Kev.”

“Oh, I gotta great dick, too!” Kev pointed down at his crotch.

“Shut the fuck up!”

A low chuckle that Mickey knew anywhere drifted in from the doorway. A few steps further and that fuckin’ soap and cologne that Gallagher always used filled his nostrils. Thank god.

“What on earth are you doing getting Mickey all wound up, huh?” Ian took the stool next to Mickey and nudged him playfully. “That’s my job.”

Mickey smirked at his boyfriend. “Kev’s just mad I won’t fuck him.”

“I’ll fuck you! I said - didn’t I say?” Tommy and Kermit nodded faithfully. “I’ll fuck you if that’s your thing!”

“Aw jeez, Kev. This again?”

“The fuck you mean again?” Mickey asked, turning to Ian. “He pulled this shit on you, too?”

“Yeah,” Ian groaned. “See Kev here seems to think that anyone who likes guys, likes him.”

“There’s nothing wrong with me!”

“I didn’t fuckin’ say there was, asshole,” Ian interrupted, laughing. “But does every straight guy who comes in here wanna fuck V? Did every girl you ever flirted with shove her hand down your pants? No. People got types, and you aren’t mine, and you aren’t Mickey’s.”

Kev crossed his arms and glared at Ian. “Well I think you should let Mickey speak for himself.”

“Sorry Kev,” Mickey said, downing the last of his beer and slipping off the stool. “But I’m strictly a six-foot, freckled-assed, nine-inch cock redhead, kinda guy.”

Mickey slipped on his jacket, ignoring Ian’s smug as shit grin, and they both headed for the exit.

Kev called behind them. “Hey, there’s nothing wrong with wanting a little love from the gays, alright?”

“Then get Veronica to peg you and leave me the fuck out of it.” And the bar door swung closed behind them.

“Jeez,” Kev muttered to Kermit and Tommy. “Being gay’s really made Mickey touchy. That was uncalled for.”

Tommy shook his head and Kermit stared at his friend, bewildered. “It’s a miracle you haven’t been killed by your own stupidity.”

“What?” Kev asked, but they ignored him and went back to their drinks. _“What?!”_


End file.
